I have NO IDEA what normal is anymore

One of the hindrances of my first born having Asperger's is that my second son by default (and statistics) should have some issues himself. He should fit somewhere on the Spectrum, maybe close or maybe far away from his brother.

At first, we thought he kind of did. His ability to transition was not so great, and his meltdowns were epic. We had him placed in an ESE PRE-K program from 3 years of age until he went into Kindergarten. He struggled at first in Kindergarten, but we had an IEP that carried him through until he was 6 years old.

Then he aged out. They dropped his IEP and he was totally mainstreamed.

He's done well. He's in first grade. He's socializing, and acting like any typical 1st grader. If by typical you mean he's socializing too much and not following directions.

Those things he does beautifully. Those things he does too well.

Those things his brother does too. The one with the Autism. But in his case, he has accommodations that factor in those issues and modify his work slightly. We can also play with other factors to get the best work out of him depending on the subject. We can make things as visuals to help him get the work done faster, better, easier. Whatever it takes.

The little guy? Has no supports whatsoever. He's on his own.

So when I go to Spiff's IEP meetings, I see a wealth of accommodations that would also help his brother. I mentally check off the list in my head of ways, if only, we could help him with his work. To help his self-esteem. To stop the flow of orange and red stars into my son's agenda.

(Red and Orange stars BAD, Green Stars GOOD.)

But I can't. there is nothing I can do. I can and DO work with him, one-on-one at home with his homework, but in the classroom, where it counts, I am powerless.

Apparently, so is he.

I'm told this is all normal. What Scamp is doing in class is typical of most first graders. "Just watch him!" and "It will all work out". "Don't worry!" is my favorite.

Worrying is what I do. I'm good at it. I have a black belt in worrying.

Honestly? I wouldn't know what normal was if it came up and introduced itself.

Isn't that sad?